Another list of amazing things people have said to me.
I promised you another list of amazing things, here it is. Have fun!
“Aren’t you worried about large quantities of money entering your country from dubious sources?” (BBC interviewer)
“But of course not, I would be worried if money was leaving my country.”
Brilliant, thank you Swiss Foreign Minister! I know it’s not a stupid thing and wasn’t to me, but it’s funny.
Please note that I’m not sure it was the SFM, however it definitely was a Swiss guy who was in charge of monies.
“If a [unfortunate term for people with high levels of dark pigment in their skin] ever came to this school I’d have to leave or kill myself.”
This completely shocked me, what shocked me more was the number of people who laughed or agreed.
“I’m not racist! I have plenty of black friends!”
This was talking to one of the laughing people who seemed in agreement. It’s helped me come up with a plea for Michael Jackson:
“I’m not a paedophile, I have lots of friends who are children!”
“I don’t want to suppress people’s views, I just don’t want them here.” and a few hours later “I think there should be moderation throughout the whole network to remove swearing and views I don’t agree with.”
Slightly rephrased for readability, it was actually views which didn’t fit with the person’s religion.
“Could I have a half pound burger please.”
“You’re not in America now mate.”
“How would that change things? If you think about it we used the imperial measuring system before they did, and we adjusted it after they broke away. Also the whole concept of a half pounder being an American thing is ironic as the measurement system is called ‘Imperial’. In other words, could I have an imperial half pound burger please. Incidentally, being at a traditional country fair, shouldn’t we use traditional weights and measures?”
“Huh?”
It would have only complicated things to mention that metric was pretty much invented by John Wilkins in 1668 who was English.
This one is shorter, fewer laughs, but I thought I’d bring it to you now before I forget!
Kind regards, Robert.
September 26th, 2008 at 9:10 pm
Not a huge laugh, but I did inadvertently snort quietly to myself when it happened.
Waiting in a doctor’s office the other day. Someone who works there strolls through, looking through a chart or something, with a puzzled look on his face. He mutters to nobody in particular, “Oh.. I think I need to.. (brief pause, as he stops walking, and looks up from his chart)…CRAP!!!” and he takes off in a full run and disappears through a door at the other end of the hall.
Bemused looks from other people waiting in the office. Not specific to this list, but brought some chuckles at the time.