Robert Small, The blog thereof.

This is going to be a bit of an open response to a message I received on MySpace. As the message was not open I cannot provide absolute proof of it’s existence, but I know that you’ll trust me.

“i’ve got a question to ask you about that have you ever been laid? with a woman? you big gay twat” Wilmur

I will not release my full attention or energy in response, but I do feel it necessary to address this and such similar attacks. This has not been the only of such, I believe the homophobic community must be passing this around or maybe linking to it within their weekly newsletter.

Before I address any issues raised in or by this correspondence it does strike me that the sender must either have not read my blog, or been heavily under the influence of some mind numbing drug at the time. The entire blog was not about the act of sexual intercourse, foreplay, or anything pertaining to such actions; it was about the use of sexual attraction and visual/verbal sexual manipulation within advertisements and popular culture. For those of you who’d like to totally dismiss this as nonsensical, I’d prefer to address this form of address before it becomes too commonplace within my new mail. I am also amused to find that sexuality is brought into this, did the author read more than the title before realising it as a way to display his own insecurities on a public medium? This I expect will remain a secret.

I will not address the issue of the correspondent’s sexuality, if they’re a latent homosexual and this is the way they chose to show it then that is entirely their business and not mine to pry into. I will not address their interesting grammar, nor the lack of capitalisation but simply presume they’ve broken their shift key and were in great hurry for their life.

Maybe it is that they don’t understand my post, maybe they cant comprehend the meaning of ’sexing’ or how things can be sold using a sexual image. Surely this cannot be so, they had a public school (that’s paid for those outside the UK) education of a genuinely good quality. I would not be surprised if they got higher marks than yours truly, my English skills have always been lacking. Surely they must have been able to understand the simple concept of sex in advertising.

The correspondent asks me if I’ve ever had sex with someone. I must remind them that this is none of their business, apart from being totally irrelevant to the post. They then go on to ask if, if the first question was answered yes, it was a member of the fair sex. They then accuse me of being gay and a `twat`. Gay I take to mean homosexual, and `twat` to mean fool; the other alternative is unlikely even in the context of the absurdity of the post, it being a happy vulva. I’ll let my friends judge me on my foolishness, but I’m most definitely heterosexual. Even if I were, what would be the problem, would there even be any change to the validity of my points of view? This strikes me as the stereotypical accusation of a young man being ‘gay’ because he cries at his wedding, his wedding to a woman, rather petty.

In conclusion I find this attack rather laughable. It’s badly worded and badly punctuated, it’s lacking in substance, it totally lacks factual backing or grounding for the accusations. It is unfortunate that I’ve received a few other similar emails or messages, it’s sad that even in this day of ‘freedom’ and ‘equality’ a man cannot stand up for what he believes to be right, and stand against something he believes to be another’s disgrace without attracting insults. Of course, it has to be the age old accusation of homosexuality.

How pathetic.

Kind regards, Robert.

In most countries it is illegal to sell sex; in some the law is reversed and it illegal to buy sex.

Everyone has seen the adverts, you know the ones, pretty women photographed next to the product or even using it. I have no objection to the choice of good looking participants for adverts; what I object to is the use of this when, as is increasingly common, the pretty woman is totally irrelevant. I’m sorry if I’m incorrect but there’s no connection I’ve discovered between the undressed female form and web hosting, or fishing nets.

I also object, quite strongly, to the ’sexing’ of music and music videos. Rap, notorious for this, is well known to objectify women and glorify gangsterism. I believe that the ‘armies’ based around various rebel forces in Africa often use ‘gangster rap’ to give their child soldiers the confidence to follow the orders they’re given. Studies have shown that heavy bass beats in music increases testosterone levels, this would be excellent for someone about to make young children shoot up villages. It would also create a heightened level of all the bad sides of masculinity within the children, is it any wonder that they rape and massacrer? I dislike the trend to take this form of film making over into the rest of the music industry, not that I liked the music industry in the first place, I dislike the use of women as objects; in fact, I consider it to be an attempt to manipulate me.

The reason I think that the criticism or abuse of others is so attractive to some is as follows; to be above others (rightly or wrongly) one must create a difference between yourself and them, this can be done by their failing or by your success. If you push them down then you help them fail by your perception, you are now - in your own mind - bigger than they. I hope this makes sense, I’ll probably explain more about it another time, this is getting on for two in the morning and my mind has ceased working according to the normal constraints of ordered thinking. This goes for the objectification of women by men, mostly men who have little self worth; by pushing others beneath them they have greater self worth. It’s sick.

So why did I say that I considered it to be an attempt to manipulate me? Well, if I believe what I’ve already stated then it’s an attempt to make me feel good about myself and buy their music because it does so; they’ve failed as it only serves to make me even more sick of modern ‘culture’ than I was before. If I do not become entwined in their net by this devious trick they have a backup plan up their sleeve, simply lure my interest with sex.

But over all, I find it disturbing that to make me buy a fishing net, a new film, or maybe a cup of coffee I must be lured in by the attraction of sex. Whatever happened to the appeal of wanting to buy a product?

Kindest regards, Robert.